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I had a conversation last month that I can’t seem to shake. It has woken up a few “passionate” ideas I have about my life and myself in the process. It went something like this:
Mr Man: My wife and I can’t manage without our live in nanny. What do you do for daycare?
Naive me: No daycare. We chose not to go that route.
Mr.Man: Oh, I get it! You’re a “Supermom” How’s that working out for you (laugh, laugh)
Simple chat right. No big deal right! Except for the disdain this person showed and the labelling of “supermom” which was a negative, not a positive reference, trust me!
I have frequently been called competitive in my life… been harassed for it, in fact, and have continually denied it… and thus lost friends, respect and trust from other women. In my haste to explain, before you stop reading…..
I view competitive people as those who continually compare themselves to the abilities and achievements of another person, and look to “out-do” said person.
I love you all, but I truly don’t give a shit about how your successes compare to mine. Your success is your success…. You own it. It was on your path! And I will support you to the ends of the earth as you go and achieve it!
I think competitive people are the ones who are always “one-upping “you, whether it is good or bad … ie: I hardly had any sleep last night…… (Friend replies: you think you didn’t get any sleep… you should have been in our house)
I think it is done from a lack of confidence, and a lack of direction. I don’t think it is healthy, for anyone involved.
I sat down with the amazing Kate Muker (conscious diva’s) the other day. Not only is Kate beautiful and clever (and petite, which is one of the main things I covet in this life… oh to be petite) but she believes firmly and strongly in being our best self, and helping those around us to be their best self.
I haven’t chosen to keep my loud and somewhat miserable 2 year old at home to piss you off or to make you feel bad. Are you crazy…. What psycho would do that? Seriously? Nor am I supermom, as I have mentioned before. I am also not overly lucky, and in any way special beyond the norm…. but I do know what I want and am willing to work my A%* off and throw my hat into the ring to get it.
The choices I have made in my life are for me alone. I want to be the best “me” possible. I want to ensure our family is living OUR best life. I don’t care for trophies or grades. I want to ensure I am pushing myself to my max…. MY max… not yours, or anyone else’s.
I believe we should all have mentors and goals, and aspire to grow and change. We should follow our path, our passions and our strengths…. And stop worrying about what everyone else is doing! Let’s get rid of the jealousy and bitterness this year. Let’s not worry about how people around us are “managing” and stop comparing…. we are all good enough if we are our best selves!
Let’s use our “powers” for good!
I like what you have to say and you are absolutely right on point. Everyone’s lives are different – different circumstances, different priorities, different cultures and it is all about living life fully every day – life is sometimes shorter than we think. As I age, I realize that times keeps going faster and faster – it’s summer before we know it and then it’s Christmas again – crazy! Do what you want to do today and don’t wait for it! By the way, I like competitive people
thanks Garcie! I don’t mind a bit of clean competition! It is the throw you under the bus sort of stuff that gets under my skin!
Here! Here! ’nuff said.
peace out!
ugh! hate the way some people can really cast a shadow over your day-to-day with their competitive keep-you-in-your-place comments. it’s not their life – it’s yours, and you do know best.
competitive-inspirational = yes
competitive-disdainful = no
one-upmanship is soooo last year
hah! Balls are the new black baby!
Like I said yesterday, you are seriously rocking my world and this is just one of the reasons why. You are awesome and I love the truth that you speak!
I think you’re pretty cool to Ms Perry!
LOL While I do envy the people with a nanny….no dollars for that and we also felt when we we had kids that I would primary caregiver and so have squeezed in my career goals inbetween and at the kids pace.
I wasn’t called a supermom but a school mom thought it odd that I wasn’t getting subsidies for childcare even if I wasn’t working…or taking on other peoples kids because I don’t have a real job
ha, real job! I had a “run in” like this as well. Someone told me I was selling myself and my family short and that I should go get a real job and support them better.
Kiss. My. Ass!
It’s not necessarily “competitive” people, it’s the people who choose to compare their life or situation constantly with others. (and then judge your choices) Everyone’s situation is different and even people with similar circumstances will handle things differently. I really love your outlook on this! If being confident in yourself & your decisions makes you a “SUPERMOM” well then I’d love to have that title.
The confidence is coming Stephanie! it is all relative!
I think we are all pretty amazing, no matter what we are doing.
Well, except for some of those slack-asses out there… but that’s another story!
Love it. Very well said.
P.S. I like you even better now because you said ‘shit’ in a blog post.
cool. I’ll do it more often!
Maybe I’ll drop an F-bomb just for you!
ps- I will also do tequila shots and dance on a table if that makes me cool!
You are amazing! Taking care of your own kids rocks. I would have avoided day care if I could!
thanks Aniys. Don’t feel all that amazing some days… but I love my chaos!
Well said, Honey. (I’m Julie’s Mom.) You have a knack for putting into words what other people are thinking. Don’t stop! I love you, because you speak up and out!
thanks mommy.
Great post Julie! Well said!
I love love love this post! High fives all around. It’s good not giving a shit! It really is liberating
Xxxxxx
it certainly is! Looking forward to liberating a little more this year!
Here, here, sista! As a proud stay at home Mum, who fits in things where they work for my family; whether it is a paid position or volunteer, I applaude you for making your “thing” work! You are a networking machine and deserve all that you recieve! On top of that you have a fabulous family!! Own the “SuperMum” title, you could be the poster chica!
Can I hear a whoot whoot!
U rock too Tara!