I am starting to utilize more and more social media in my professional and personal life. I tweet on Twitter, I blog (my favorite) and I am a Facebook freak. What girl doesn’t like to snoop in on the lives of old high school friends, boyfriends and the category that takes up most of my time….colleagues and competition. I’ll FRIEND anyone with the understanding that the larger my net of possible viewers the greater the marketing value. Facebook can be an unobtrusive way of making people aware of your business. Facebook also enables me to “keep in touch” with participants from past keynotes and workshops—perhaps the GREATEST aspect of my Facebook experience.

Recently I posted this Facebook status update, “Just had someone ask me if I was pregnant. I’m not. Not sure how to feel about that.” I shared my experience and thoughts publically to my “network” and ran out of the office to do some work errands. While at the drugstore debating which mousse to buy (okay…so not entirely work related) I heard the familiar ding of my Blackberry loyally signally me that I have a new Facebook notification. Unable to resist the addictive curiousity of “what it could be about” and “who it could be from” I checked it out.

In response to my earlier status of being mistaken for pregnant I found this comment, “Oh shoot! I just checked out your birthday….I guess it’s just the wisdom you exude that led me to assume you weren’t such an immature little girl….”

WHAT???? Was my Facebook “FRIEND” SLAMMING me on my own status line?

As I stood in the beauty aisle utterly bewildered, flustered and completely confused my Blackberry dinged again. This time a private message from the same “FRIEND” who, only moments earlier, degraded me. The message read, “Does it help …if I privately send you a message that I want your body?”

Okay. Now I am really perplexed. From SLAMMING to aggressive FLIRTING—what is a simple-minded Facebook user to think?

I didn’t know my “friend” personally BUT I did recognize his name (wasn’t he a lawyer in town?).

My car ride back to work was full of confusion, hurt and, dare I admit it, a little blushing from the private message.

It wasn’t until I reviewed the conversation on my laptop that I discovered both the degrading comment AND the private message (sent to me mistakenly) were directed at another woman had also commented on my status. My oh-so-smart Blackberry apparently does not show all the comments as listed on Facebook. The man and woman were having their own conversation on my Wall. So he didn’t want my body after all. As a happily married woman I was relieved (at least that’s what I told myself).

This is the POWER of social media–instant communication with powerful resources and connections at the click of a button. Still, with all the GREAT of social media there are, at least for me, several major drawbacks (besides the emotional damage of being mistakenly flirted with). Here is where the good gets ugly.

It takes up a LOT of my time. Like so many others I am addicted. Panic sets in when I forget my Blackberry somewhere. I need to be connected—even when my real connections are being damaged. I am working very hard at adhering to my own rules of play.

* Phone on backseat when driving.
* Phone on SILENT (not vibrating you cheaters) when in meetings or having important one-on-one real-life conversations.
* I may only check my phone once an hour when at home with my family (this is a tough one!)

Let’s all take a moment to take inventory of our real “friends”. The digital world is a fast paced image driven environment. It’s easy to get sucked into endless hours of “competition research” and “Is that Sally from 9th grade? Let’s see what she looks like now…”

Please share your own rules of play for social media. We can learn from on another. Post your comment below!

Trisha Miltimore is a national speaker, mom of two princesses, radio announcer and retail business owner. Her passion for EMPOWERING Mompreneurs and youth takes her across Canada spreading her message on the POWER OF KARMA (Knowledge, Attitude, Respect, Motivation and Action!).

momcafé members receive a special discount on all of Trisha’s programs,
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