For my entire working life, I was profoundly aware of how much vacation time I was entitled to, along with when I would be taking that vacation.

When I was single, my vacations were rowdy road trips with friends.  When I married, they were adventures like rock climbing in Canmore and downtime on the beach in Cuba.  When I became a Mother, they were…hmmm.  Come to think of it, I haven’t had a vacation since becoming a Mom four and half years ago.

The reason for my lack of vacationing, for the most part, is that I have spent the past four and half years giving birth and nursing three children.  This definitely dampers your beach body for lounging in the sand (unless, of course, someone actually buried me in the sand).

However, this year is different.  I now work for myself and, rather than being pregnant or on the verge of giving birth, I have a four, three, and one year old.  So the question becomes, do we take a vacation this year, or partake in a staycation instead?

Actually, that’s not true.  There are other questions to be asked.  Is my need to disconnect worth listening to three children possibly fighting in a car for hours?  Is a change of view as important as it is to pack twenty six suitcases for our family of five?  Is my sanity strong enough to withstand food and sleep battles when not at home?  Will it really be a vacation for me?  If I stay home, will I shrivel up like a once good wine grape?  If I don’t take time to get away, will getting the laundry done before the weekend really constitute some me time?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer to any of these questions.  But I do know that no matter what we decide to do, those leisurely and whimsical vacations of my life B.K. (Before Kids) are a thing of the past for many more years.  Our new vacation memories will undoubtedly include phrases like “I will turn this car around if…”.  Damn it.  I just became my Mother.