10 January 2012 | By tri-cities in blog | 3 Comments

I have been thinking and talking a lot about triggers lately… thinking about those moments in my life that have caused or encouraged me to change direction.  Looking back and recognizing what caused me to change my behavior, or enticed me to take a risk.

These triggers can sneak up on you passively and discreetly change your course, or can slap you in the face with an abrupt and direct wake up call. As I look back on the main trigger patterns in my world, these veins of action are apparent.

I have hit “rock bottom” a few times in my life… thankfully not many, but enough to make me realize I have been there, and it is a nasty ass place to be. Luckily both experiences forced me into making decisions that were scary, potentially risky and highly rewarding. The process of growing my balls enough to divorce the ex or quit the day job with all the sexy benefits was hugely rewarding and I can look back on these uber stressful decisions and my ability to make them as some of my proudest moments.  It has proved to me that even if things look good on paper, or seem the right thing to do, if we aren’t happy… they just aren’t worth it. And our happiness is worth every penny we spend to change our situation.

The downside of hitting rock bottom is not just the cost of Kleenex and chocolate, or your frequent trips to the liquor store (a good place to never be on a first name basis with the staff, ditto the pharmacy, bakery and botox clinic) is the beating your confidence takes. While we can build back up again, the process takes months (or years as it did with me) and finding our strength after stomping on soul for so long is a tearful and frightening battle.

So even though I look back at my dramatic triggers with strength and appreciation now, I much prefer recognizing my more fortuitous experiences that created great opportunities in my life.

I was lucky enough to hear Heather White (2020 communications) Brand You talk twice (and if you have the chance… go hear for yourself) In it she encourages us to “show up” and by this (I think) she means that you need to  put yourself out there, be present (in body, mind and soul) In the instances where I have opened myself to opportunities, opportunities have come. These have been the moments where I have leaped (possibly without looking) and achieved great success (and sometimes great failure) The fortuitous moments come by rarely, and often when you least expect it, but as you move forward you are able to look back with awe at the thought of the actions that led to the encounter that led to the opportunity.

What I find so amazing, is thinking of the number of opportunities we don’t take… the times we close our doors to the universe and stop being present and available. Imagine…. Imagine if we opened them a little more often, the triggers (people, ideas, inspirations) that would present themselves.

Now granted, when our “doors are closed” we are still passively moving along a path… making minor adjustments to our life, but not taking any major risks, not pushing our comfort zones or being available for life changing opportunities. Is that ok… sure… but I am not sure if living a balanced, manageable life is for me.

I appreciate the fact that I can now foresee the rock bottom triggers coming and I can often pre-empt the crash and burn with action (yay me for learning!) I also believe that we cannot be truly happy, unless we have been truly unhappy. In fact, I think it is this dissatisfaction that creates some of the most exciting moments in our life.  It allows you to appreciate when you have found something that floats your boat!

I think the most dangerous habit of life is when we only rely on passive opportunities. Without fighting our way through to our goals, I can see us becoming lifeless, directionless drones. To passionately and forcibly define our path, through night sweats and fears… what an extraordinary adventure that would be. To have our stomach lurch at our actions and come through in the end with an extraordinary reward… give me some of that!

In my safe and practical suburban life of a work-at-home mom of 3, casserole making, dinner party hosting 30++ year old I feel the anxiety of succumbing to normality slowly drive me to boredom. My husband (thankfully) has the same eccentric urges I do.  As we tirelessly scour the internet for life changing opportunities, from long term travel with our kiddies or starting fresh in a new community, we patiently wait. What we are looking for is something that will shake our life up and add a bit of spice to our experiences… while still allowing us to achieve our goals and ensure our kids have opportunities to work with. We are patiently waiting for that spark to ignite and cause the explosion that will change our path. The fuse is there; ready to be lit…..  and when it is, we are ready!

Balls out for the world to admire.